After the Affair: Betrayal Recovery Counselling for Couples and Individuals

Finding out your partner has had an affair is one of the most destabilising experiences a relationship can hold. The ground shifts. What felt certain no longer does. And you can find yourself trying to make sense of something that, right now, may not make sense at all.

Whether you have just discovered an affair, are somewhere in the middle of trying to figure out what happens next, or have been carrying the weight of betrayal for longer than you want to admit, counselling can offer something important: a space to slow down, to understand what actually happened, and to move forward from a more grounded place, whatever that forward looks like for you.

Both paths are possible here. Some couples work through a betrayal and find their way to something more honest and more connected than what they had before. Others reach the clarity that the relationship has run its course, and they need support to end it with integrity. Neither is the wrong answer, and this work is not about pushing you toward one outcome or the other.

What this work involves:

Affair recovery is not a single thing. It looks different depending on where you are, what happened, and what both of you are bringing to the room. In general, this work involves:

  • Creating enough safety for both people to speak honestly about what they are experiencing

  • Understanding the fuller picture of how the affair happened, not to assign blame but to make sense of what was happening in the relationship

  • Working through the grief, anger, shame and confusion that betrayal brings

  • Rebuilding trust gradually, in ways that are real rather than performed

  • Deciding together, with clarity, what you want for your relationship from here 

The person who had the affair often carries their own complicated mix of guilt, relief, grief and confusion. The person who was betrayed is often trying to reconcile who they thought their partner was with who they now understand them to be. Both of those experiences matter and both are held in this work.

Why specialist support matters here:

Affair recovery asks more of a therapist than most relationship work. It requires the ability to hold two people in very different emotional states simultaneously, to remain a neutral presence when the pain in the room is intense, and to understand the deeper relational dynamics that create the conditions for betrayal in the first place.

It is not the same as general counselling, and it is worth seeking out someone with genuine training and experience in this specific area.

→ Find out more about how I work with couples and relationships

Fees & Availability:

50-minute sessions · $200

80-minute sessions $250

I see couples together (individual sessions can be arranged in specific circumstances)

Available in person in Thornbury, and online across Australia

Medicare does not cover couples counselling. Some private health funds offer a rebate. It's worth checking your extras cover.

Common questions:

  • Yes. Many couples do. Research consistently shows that couples who engage genuinely with the process, with a therapist who understands this work, can rebuild something real and lasting. It is not a quick process, and it asks a great deal of both people. But it is possible.

  • That uncertainty is completely understandable, and you do not need to have resolved it before you come. Part of what counselling can offer is the space to reach that clarity, together and honestly.

  • In most cases, yes. This is couples work, and it is most effective when both people are present. That said, individual sessions can sometimes be arranged in specific circumstances. Get in touch and we can talk through what makes most sense for your situation.